Please Miss
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Penis
2022·304 pages·Nonfiction
Lights up on little Grace Lavery: reformed druggie, unreformed pantie-dropper, and 100% all-natural, synthetically-cultivated female hormone monster. From the moment Grace solves what she affectionately calls her "penis problem" in the parking lot of an abandoned Japanese steakhouse (were the turkeys milling about the handicapped spaces following her?), she begins receiving accusatory letters from an anonymous jabroni, who seems to be a few spices shy of a salami. Who is this processed deli meat of a man and why are his letters typed in Courier? What does he want with our heroine? And why is each letter adorned with an illustration of a clown? Thus, we embark on a weird and magical mystery tour to find the source of these disturbing missives. (Of course, what recently transitioned, recently sober Grace is looking for is herself.) Misadventures on her quest abound. Grace is ready for her close-up in an extended director's cut of Sunset Boulevard and programmed as a sexy femmebot from Austin Powers. She shops in bizarro San Franscisco organic grocery behemoth Hole Foods and bottoms out in very muggy Osaka, dragging her sweaty body from one micro-apartment to the next in search of designer drugs and duds. As Grace fumbles towards the clownish culprit and towards a new trans identity, she inhabits different voices and genres, from porn parodies of Freud to send-ups of British quiz show panelists, from Edward Penishands to A Christmas Carol. With more dick jokes than you can shake a dick at, Please Miss gives us what we came for, then slaps us in the face and orders us to come again.
Year
2022
Pages
304
Type
Nonfiction
Description
Lights up on little Grace Lavery: reformed druggie, unreformed pantie-dropper, and 100% all-natural, synthetically-cultivated female hormone monster. From the moment Grace solves what she affectionately calls her "penis problem" in the parking lot of an abandoned Japanese steakhouse (were the turkeys milling about the handicapped spaces following her?), she begins receiving accusatory letters from an anonymous jabroni, who seems to be a few spices shy of a salami. Who is this processed deli meat of a man and why are his letters typed in Courier? What does he want with our heroine? And why is each letter adorned with an illustration of a clown? Thus, we embark on a weird and magical mystery tour to find the source of these disturbing missives. (Of course, what recently transitioned, recently sober Grace is looking for is herself.) Misadventures on her quest abound. Grace is ready for her close-up in an extended director's cut of Sunset Boulevard and programmed as a sexy femmebot from Austin Powers. She shops in bizarro San Franscisco organic grocery behemoth Hole Foods and bottoms out in very muggy Osaka, dragging her sweaty body from one micro-apartment to the next in search of designer drugs and duds. As Grace fumbles towards the clownish culprit and towards a new trans identity, she inhabits different voices and genres, from porn parodies of Freud to send-ups of British quiz show panelists, from Edward Penishands to A Christmas Carol. With more dick jokes than you can shake a dick at, Please Miss gives us what we came for, then slaps us in the face and orders us to come again.
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